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World Domination Day

This Caturday is Cat World Domination Day. Here's a little bit on how we are going to take over the world.

First, we domesticate humans. We'll do this on our terms. We'll take care of their agricultural pests, like mice in the cattle feed. But we'll stay outside and stay just wild enough. Until they decide they can't live without us, then they let us inside and keep us warm. We'll make them feed us enough so we stay by their barns instead of exploring into the woods, then we'll demand to be fed on our schedule inside, and go in and out when we want to, even if we just changed our mind. We'll demand things be kept a certain way. Everywhere a cat could possibly go, we will go. Humans must feed us, go to bed, and provide laps on our schedule. We'll also need to keep an eye on the outside world when we're inside, so windows are a must.

Then we'll find out who the powerful humans are. We'll move in to places like No. 10 Downing Street and the White House. Part of the problem the US has been having is they have recently elected Presidents who didn't have cats. Neither Obama nor Trump had cats, or even any pets, at the time of their first election to the Presidency. (Although young Bush and Clinton had cats in the White House, shown below)

Then, we'll take over their Internet. We'll make sure they spend all their computer resources on pictures and videos of cats. If necessary, we will actually sit on the machines they use to access the Internet to remind them that cats come first. We will get in their messages, typing our own things that they call cute.

Eventually, we'll have to take over places like newspapers, broadcast media, libraries, and colleges. There are a few examples of this, such as Joey the Garden Cat. But there are still too many dogs there.

Image: 
Indio, cat of G.W.Bush
Socks at the podium, Clinton White House
Larry the Downing Street Cat with a UK Union Jack bow tie
Vladimir Putin with cats

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